POLITICAL DUMMIES.com

David Letterman’s Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image
10. Star in new television series, “America’s Funniest Haircuts.”
9. Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop.
8. Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like “BLAGOOOOYYYYYJEVICH.”
7. Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest.
6. Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich [...]

“Vice President Cheney pulled a muscle in his back. Did you see him in the wheelchair today? You would think being in a wheelchair would make Cheney more sympathetic, but it made him look kind of evil, didn’t it?” –Jay Leno
“Well, did you all see Obama’s speech? He said America is finally ready to lead [...]